I am Beautiful




I don’t want anyone to mistake me for a person who has low self-esteem. Growing up, YES, my self-esteem was very low if I had any esteem at all. I was bullied just about every day in every season of my education. It stopped in high school when I had had enough of this one person who for some reason, never thought I would fight back.

Growing up I didn’t like to take pictures because someone was always talking about my big bulging eyes, my light as all outdoors skin, or the fact that I was very slim as a child. There were a lot of experiments done on my sandy brown hair with golden highlights. So, the grade of my hair changed. Puberty was the worse. Lol. I had zits the size of your hand and my parents just didn’t believe that soap and water was the only solution. There was no Proactive or X-Out, we only had Noxema cold cream.

Today I got a text message from one of my best friends. It was short but impactful. I was told that my pics look nice. As usual I never know how to take a compliment but I do say thank you. I managed to say, “Well, so and so makes me look good but thank you.” Right then, that still small voice on the inside asked me, “Why do you keep doing that?” “When someone pays you a compliment, you should say thank you. Most of the time, those compliments come from me. Go look in the mirror! I made that! You’ve told those that you mentor and mother that I like what I made and I call it good.”

I took a look in the mirror and for the first time in 43 yrs, I looked at myself and said, “Crystal you are beautiful!” I never took the time to say it to myself but somehow I made sure in my own way that someone else knew it about themselves. Again,  I’ve grown up from that skinny little girl I just told you about. I’m a well-balanced adult and I don’t have those same self- esteem issues. It just dawned on me that I hadn’t been GOOD TO MYSELF in awhile. My husband used to tell me that all of the time. He’d tell me that I don’t take care of me enough, spend time with me enough, or pamper me enough. So this is my new quest. I’ve cared for & looked after men and women. Now I’ll include more me time as I continue to help others reach their full potential.

I’m much like the Apostle Paul. I don’t speak with eloquent speech but with love, power, and a sound mind. God uses me to change the world and because of him, I AM BEAUTIFUL!


1 Corinthians 2 And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. 2 For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. 3 And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. 4 And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: 5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.




Read this after you get through with your #Scandal heart attacks!


NEVER tell someone how to grieve and heal. As long as you are HEALING let God lead you through that process.


I remember when my daughter died, I was, as a mother, trying to press through this process and getting messages from people telling me to slow down. don’t do this and don’t do that and stay off social media. Not understanding that we were 800 miles away from family. We couldn’t just pop up over a relatives or house or they pop up over ours to see how we were doing. My children had school, my husband had work, and I had home and four walls to look at… I had to FIGHT to keep from falling off…
Social Media was my way of staying connected to people who couldn’t come see us and wanted to. I stayed busy to keep from losing my mind all the while those that had something to say NEVER LIFTED A FINGER to DIAL MY NUMBER!


Some didn’t know HOW to talk to us or knew what to say and that’s ok… We found ourselves comforting people rather than they comforting us.


Am I bitter or upset???? ABSOLUTELY NOT I’m TOO FREE for that … but I’m here to let you know… WHAT THE ENEMY MEANT TO USE AGAINST ME FOR EVIL God turned it around and he’s using it for HIS GOOD!


There is a GREAT CLOUD of witnesses interceding for ours and yours behalf and one of them is named Symara.